Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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