Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
