I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
