we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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