my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
