who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
