the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
