My vagina just recognized that song.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It's shark week go big or go home
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
