Me too!
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
