remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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