My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
