Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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