Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
