She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
