i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
