hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
