Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
