but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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