Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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