are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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