woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
