I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
