she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
