Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
