I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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