Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
