i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
