Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
