i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
