how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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