OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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