You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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