I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
