how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
