u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
