Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
this will be a night to untag.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
