YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
