The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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