I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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