Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
