New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
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