Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
