The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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