I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
