we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
