shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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