Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
