you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
