Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
