508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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