Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
