flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The struggles of a small town man whore
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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