I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
